Two work random thoughts

[LMQueen]

I wonder how big the life insurance policy the wife took out on the husband is for?

Doesn't matter. His riding ability is beyond the scope of most people's understanding.

Hilarious and nauseating all at the same time.

I want to punch both of them in the face.


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[Makaveli]

Maybe he really does have a decided schematic advantage

[eochs]

Overheard a sales guy on the phone say "I have quite a spectacular package for you"

[U2-Horn]

https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosome ... we_do_not/

I will try to keep this short. I've worked at a small company for the past two years. Everything is wonderful, I really love my job and I like most of my coworkers. My only complaint, is "Jennifer". Jennifer is quite young, maybe 25, and she started working with the company a few months after I was hired. I don't dislike her, but to be perfectly honest she has a few bad habits at our work place that I really don't appreciate. Stupid things, leaving the microwave dirty, talking too loudly on her phone, just general incosiderate stuff. She has gotten better after our boss brought some of this stuff to her attention, but he won't touch one issue with a ten foot pole. About once a month, she stinks. I don't mean to be rude, but I am just so tired of having to smell period blood for four days every month. The smell is overwhelming when standing near her, and it's absolutely putrid. And it's not just that she stinks, she's also really careless with her feminine hygiene, and she doesn't really seem to care or get embarrassed. The first time she left blood on a chair, I chalked it up as an accident. Not a big deal. But it's happening just about every month now, and I'm disgusted and sick of it. The thing is, Jennifer is a pretty normal person. She doesn't come off as mentally ill or odd, just inconsiderate. Again my boss won't touch this issue even though we have brought it up multiple times. We don't know what to say without causing friction in the office. It's not just the blood everywhere, it's the smell too. I want it to stop. Does anyone have any advice for me? I tend to be blunt and not very tactful so any advice is appreciated!

https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosome ... l_hygiene/

My post didn't get a whole lot of attention last night, but I did get some good responses so I just wanted to thank you guys and tell you what happened. OP here: https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosome ... we_do_not/ I posted late last night and I confronted the situation this morning. The top reply suggested that I write an anonymous note to Jennifer that was direct but nice so I didn't make her feel bad. This is what I wrote: "Hi Jennifer. I'm writing you today anonymously because it is not my intention to shame or embarass you. There is no easy way to approach a subject like this, and I want you to know that this isn't a personal attack and that I mean what I'm about to say compassionately and without judgment. In the past few months, there have been some complaints in the office about a lack of personal hygiene that have resulted in menstural blood being left in chairs in the breakroom and bathroom. While I understand that accidents happen and can be out of our control, the repeated instances of the situation required confrontation so that a more comfortable office environment can be achieved for everyone. On a more informal level, I understand that not every woman is aware of how often hygiene products should be changed/replaced, and that some are more reliable than others. I have placed a bag in our bathroom with pads and tampons, it is stashed away behind the planter pot. Please feel free to use any of the products to see if they are more comfortable for you. I have left the instruction pamphlets as well should you have any questions". I didn't mention anything about the smell because I just couldn't think of a way to say it nicely that wouldn't embarrass her more than my note already would. I hoped that if I mentioned the more serious issue of leaving her blood around, that the smell issue would solve itself. Well you guys... it didn't go well. Jennifer knew pretty much immediately that I wrote the note and confronted me. I was honest with her and told her I was the one who wrote the note. She went to our boss right after to complain that I was harassing her and trying to embarrass her. We are a small company with no HR department so our boss handles all conflicts. Boss told her that the note was just about the nicest way to handle such a situation, and told her that if she wanted to take a half day to go home to think and relax and then come back on Monday to forget about the whole thing, she could. She took him up on it immediately and collected her things and left in a rush, so I won't see her again till Monday if she doesn't quit. Luckily this didn't really happen in front of other co workers so she was spared any public humiliation. Reddit, I feel so conflicted. Part of me feels awful for making her feel like shit, because I don't know the reason why she is the way she is (abusive/neglectful upbringing?). But part of me is just so annoyed that she behaved that way when asked not to leave her fucking period blood all over the place! I don't know. I need a drink. Thanks again for the replies last night, hopefully I can update maybe again with some good news. Edit: I just wanted to thank you guys for your support. I was really unsure about my actions today and I feel better knowing that I did my best in this situation and things will be resolved. Thank you again TwoX!

https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosome ... l_hygiene/

Hey guys. I've been getting a lot of PMs and replies asking me for an update. I meant to write one sooner I've just been crazy busy and haven't had the energy, but it's here now! Link to first post https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosome ... we_do_not/ Link to second post https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosome ... l_hygiene/ Soooooo last week was just about the most awkward week of my whole life. Some people were REALLY unhappy about the note I left for Jennifer. I reminded them that I'm not an HR person and I don't have any training dealing with situations like these, and I stood behind my actions. My boss was also completely useless in this situation and I sort of resented that he wouldn't take charge and that may have come off in my note. More on that later. I think people specifically had an issue with the way I mentioned that other people were talking about Jennifer leaving her blood all over the office. Here me out ok. Jennifer had knowingly left her period blood on chairs. Like I've seen her make eye contact with her stains and just ignore it. I didn't want her to think that this was just one person who took issue with her habits, and that she knew that she was affecting everyone in a shared environment. I wanted to avoid completely embarrassing her, which is why I didn't mention how awful she smelled during her period, but she had to know that what she was doing was unsafe for everyone. So yeah, that's my little side piece about that. Moving on. Jennifer came back from her long weekend last Monday, and she didn't talk to a single person that day. Apparently one of our coworkers had gotten wind of what happened, and came up to me to thank me privately for doing what I did. I asked her to please not tell anyone else what happened, which she agreed to, thank goodness. I hope she sticks to it. Apparently a few of the other women (who I'm not very close to) were in the early stages of hatching up a plan to tell Jennifer that they were tired of smelling her blood and dealing with her bad habits. I didn't get the full details of this plan but it sounded a whole lot meaner than what I did (from what I gathered it would have been a group confrontation in the break room and worded not so nicely). Maybe that would have been better. Jennifer didn't talk to me until Thursday. She asked me for some filing forms and that was it. Mind you the whole week had been a weird dance of avoiding each other, which is hard because our jobs sort of criss cross each other. So after she asked me for the forms, I decided to talk to her privately because I couldn't deal with just leaving the situation alone considering what I wrote to her the past Thursday. Wednesday? Whatever. We had a pretty long and heated discussion but I'm going to summerize because this post is already too long. Basically Jennifer grew up in a house where that behavior was totally normal. Her mom did it and so did her sister (by "it" I mean using 1 pad for like more than a day). I asked her how she made it to 25 without noticing that other women don't do that. She basically told me that she subconsciously knew that other women didn't do it, but she thought it was fine because she had been doing it since she was like 12 and no one had really called her on it. I don't know how that's even possible but whatever. I told her that I was sorry for embarrassing her but she had to change what she was doing. She told me that she will put more effort into changing her habit but that she didn't want to talk to me anymore about anything that wasn't work related ever again. I said that was fine. The conversation got kind of weird after that. Like weirder than it already was. She told me that she was keeping all the pads and tampons I left for her in the bathroom, and that she wanted me to keep a supply for her constantly replenished in the ladies room. I was like...why? Basically Jennifer thinks that if I have such a problem with her and I wanted her to change, then I have to be the one who supplies her with the pads to change all the time. Ok guys. She said this with a straight face. Jennifer is not a poor woman. In fact I know how much she makes, because it's part of my job. She then said something to the affect of "It's only fair. I've been doing this forever and no one else has said anything in the office so you're lying. Leave the pads in the bathroom or near my desk. I'm not just going to do whatever you say". So her asking me this sort of sent me over the edge, and instead of even replying to what she just asked me, I fucking stomped into our bosses office. He knew immediately that I was mad (I guess the hulk smash stomping around like a toddler gave it away). I told him the gist of the conversation and that I could no longer deal with Jennifer and that he HAD TO DO SOMETHING. A poster on my last post had the genius idea to mention an outside HR company for my boss to hire for situations like this, so I brought that up to him. I don't know if he will do it, but it looks promising. In the meantime, I haven't talked to Jennifer since last week, and I don't plan to. I told boss that we would be limiting contact, and I have a feeling that if she leaves any blood anywhere, our other coworkers are going to have a group confrontation with her in the break room. I don't care. I've washed my hands of this and I am going to focus on my work. Sorry i wrote you a novel TwoX. Still feeling weird and conflicted, like maybe I was too mean or I could have done better. But I kind of also don't care and want to move on. Thank you everyone for listening to me and giving me advice and reassurance about this. You guys really helped me out, and I feel good knowing I can come back here and vent! Edit: I'm on lunch till 12:30 so I'll be able to reply when I get home. Edit edit: Wow you guys, I'm really blown away again by all your kind words. Not to get all soft or anything but posting here has really helped me manage this awful situation and I couldn't be more thankful. Thank you to the user who gilded me my first gold, just so awesome. I am reading every single reply to my post, keep them coming! I do promise to update if anything else happens. Honestly I just hope Jennifer has a come-to-Jesus moment and starts taking better care of herself. Also I promise to work on my formatting if I make another post X)

[12ozLongneck]

Alright. Let's get her, Old Herpes Man and LVG together.

[LMQueen]

Oh my. Always hand this stuff to HR. Never take it into your own hands


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[12ozLongneck]

Not work, but this thread is a repository for dumbassery so... Awhile back, there was a chihuahua at the animal shelter where I volunteer named Madonna. Madonna is a very nasty animal who showed aggression towards both dogs and humans that was completely unpredictable and completely uninterruptable, which 99.999999999999999999999% of the time results in the dog being one of the few who enters the Austin animal welfare system on four legs and does not leave that way. Fortunately for Madonna, one of the few people she decided to be nice to was the operations manager who just fell in love with Madonna, took her in as a foster, and eventually adopted her even though she routinely tormented the staffordshire terrier the operations manager already owned. Fast forward to last night. The terrier decides that he has had enough after being attacked by Madonna for the millionth time and takes matters into his own hands. That goes about the way you would imagine and a late night trip is made to the vet. Following surgery, the vet's office calls, tells the ops manager to come pick her dog up because she started attacking everyone who came near hear almost immediately after coming out from under anesthesia and recommends putting the dog down. What's the proper response to this? Well, if you're ops manager, the proper response is to post the story on facebook along with a selfie you took on the way to the vet with your injured dog who had a distended eyeball hanging off of her head. The combination of stupidity and narcissism is a bad thing. Absolutely disgusting.

[LMQueen]

Idiot. I feel sorry for the terrier! She got the shaft!


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[12ozLongneck]

My next port of call at work is Denver.

Denver Branch Manager: "We'll have to try and get you up here during ski season!"

Me: "Couldn't be less interested in skiing. I don't do winter and I'd probably Sonny Bono myself anyway."

*Looooooong pause*

Denver Branch Manager: "I guess you didn't hear about our auditor here who passed away after a skiing accident..."

Ladies and gentlemen, your Bear Trap Of The Week.

[LMQueen]

Oh no.

Lucky you, it isn't too cold up there until January/February and it is usually only really cold for a day or two at a time.


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[Bucharest]

I'm here right now....make no mistake, this city blows....it's awful. I mean we could all get together and have a good 'ol time, but generally speaking, this place sucks.

#2 suicide rate in the US....it's not coincidence....you can guess #1

[12ozLongneck]

Too cunty?

Hi 12ozLongneck,

I came across your LinkedIn profile and thought your years of IT auditing experience, specifically in healthcare, lined up nicely with an exciting opportunity we have at Shady Midsized Public Accounting Firm. Shady Midsized Public Accounting Firm is a dynamic, certified public accounting and health care reimbursement consulting firm. We specialize in providing audit, accounting, data management and consulting services to government-sponsored health care programs (primarily state Medicaid agencies, and the federal Center for Medicare and Medicaid Services).

If you would like to review the job description and apply, please visit our job posting using this link: or feel free to email me if you have any questions.

Best regards,
Person with stripper name
Recruiter
Shady Midsized Public Accounting Firm

Dear Person WIth Stripper Name,

How did you arrive at the conclusion that I have "years of IT auditing experience, specifically in healthcare"? Just curious as I have less than a year of IT auditing experience and exactly none of my audit experience is even remotely related to healthcare.

Regards,

12ozLongneck

[Makaveli]

Where's the Upside ?

Sometimes I burn somebody down just to vent some frustration but I usually feel bad about it afterwards.

[12ozLongneck]

There isn't any. There's also no downside because I interviewed with them a few years back and they made some bullshit lowball offer.

[12ozLongneck]

Marriott bought Starwood today. We are going to get fucked on our SPG points aren't we?

Ah, yes. Now here is a topic I could talk about for a good couple of hours.

I'm a Starwood guy and it's really not even close. Marriott would be the second choice.

Considerations

# and Quality of Properties:

- Starwood has much nicer properties than the others. Considering an SPG category 3 (Sheraton) is like a nice Marriott and a category 4 Westin is like a JW Marriott. There are a lot more Westin's and W's out there than JW Marriott's. SPG has St. Regis vs. Marriott's Ritz Carlton. Pretty much a push there. Since I'm a Westin guy (occasionally W), there are so many more at that level than with Marriott. In most cities I would have to defer to the Marriott/Sheraton level if I were a Marriott guy

- Having said that, if you want just volume instead of quality, you go with Marriott. The number of courtyard, Residence Inn, Fairfield Inn properties that are out there is crazy. If you are planning to cash in your hotel points in Weatherford, TX.... go with Marriott and stay at the Residence Inn there. If you are planning to go to Dallas, stick with SPG and go with Sheraton or Aloft if you want value or Westin or W if you want luxury

Exchange rates

- SPG allows you to accumulate points a lot faster which you can cash in for better properties (as discussed above). They have all kinds of programs that allow you to multiply your points at each stay. Marriott does have programs for "stay 5 and get 1 free) but you have to use those on shitty properties. Only up to category 4 or 5 on a 7 scale at Marriott. And while on a per $ spent basis (removing all bonuses) they are about the same, you then have to consider that pts/night I think is a bit higher at Marriott.

- Yes, you can get a Starwood Amex which is badass since they give you 5 points per $... Booz wouldn't allow us to do that since we had to use our Corporate Amex. I do think there is an annual fee for the SPG Amex but if you travel a lot, it is totally worth it.

- Regardless of program - never exchange hotel points for airline... unless you just aren't going to use the hotel points - in which case I'll buy them. The airline points systems are ridiculous these days. 50K for a round trip that replaces maybe $800 ticket?... for 50K in SPG points, I can stay 4-5 nights in a Westin or W that's worth $1000-$1,200

Status:

- it's a lot easier to make platinum with Starwood on a # of nights basis
- I'm not sure if Marriott has a platinum dedicated phone number like SPG does but it always gets picked up and the SPG customer service department is fucking ridiculous. They are nicer than the exec platinum line at AA. They are some of the nicest service reps I've ever talked to. They are Canadians though so that might deter you...
- Once you hit like 100 nights or something, you have a personal concierge that calls you about upcoming travel to ask about accommodations, you have their personal line, email address and they send you a fucking birthday card every year


Bottom line is: Do you want quality or quantity when you convert? That will help you make the decision. Unless you just want to ensure that there is a property in every city you MITGHT travel to (think August GA), it's really not even a decision.

[Drew Corleone]

Since this is the de facto work thread, I thought I would share.

I mentioned the really stinky guy a while back, I believe. pretty sure he doesn't bathe regularly, and he's fat so he sweats a lot, and the end of his nose looks like it may be rotting off, but that is a different matter altogether.

Anyway, I had to talk to him this morning and I'm glad it was at 9am and not 11am, otherwise I would not have been able to eat lunch. Motherfucker was funky.

So I get back from lunch and decide to go make a deposit, if you get me. As I wash my hands I see Funkadelic walk in and meekly make his way past me toward the stalls, where he proceeds to walk directly into the one I had just exited.

It makes me happy to know that after more than a year of enduring his stench he had to endure a little bit of mine.

[12ozLongneck]

The funniest part of this is the fact that "The end of his nose is possibly rotting off" got third billing in your description.

[U2-Horn]

[12ozLongneck]

The employee from one of our offices in Denver who made a not so vague threat to management, passed his "manifesto" out to select coworkers and then disappeared for quite awhile is still employed by us and has added a rambling and disjointed section to our Wikipedia page regarding his whistleblowing heroics and alleged mistreatment at the hand of our employer.

[U2-Horn]

Have you thought about investing in a bulletproof vest?

[12ozLongneck]

I'm doing stuff in Denver right now, but not at the office he is at. The broad with the motorcycle husband does though. It's a small world. I am more worried about touching a doorknob after Herpes Guy has handled up on himself.

[eochs]

I'm doing stuff in Denver right now, but not at the office he is at. The broad with the motorcycle husband does though. It's a small world. I am more worried about touching a doorknob after Herpes Guy has handled up on himself.

this is the most confusing and wonderful post in years on LMFZ

[12ozLongneck]

Cut me a break. I am half asleep doing mandatory information security awareness training.

[12ozLongneck]

A coworker just butted into a conversation and told me my lack of motivation is due to the fact that Mercury is in retrograde.

[12ozLongneck]

The people here in Denver REALLY do not like Texans. Some dumb cunt in our office here said she wanted the US to annex Canada so the US could kick Texas out and still have 50 states. I showed her a map of the original Texas borders and asked if she would be excited about coming along for the ride when Uncle Sam gave us the boot.