Worst LFZ Posts

Like trash talk, but with pictures...

Postby Drew Corleone on Wed Sep 17, 2003 6:54 am

Let me see...

My Astros are in 1st place with two weeks to go.

My Cowboys won one of the best games I've ever seen on Monday night.

None of us expected to see Texas in the NC game this year anyway. Big friggin Deal! We lost... there have been bigger tragedies.
"God has a plan for me and this team. It's obvious I don't need to win [the Heisman] until next year.' Colt f'n McCoy
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Postby Tom Landry on Wed Sep 17, 2003 11:49 am

No Drew, you just don't understand, if you're on the Txas football team every loss ever should leave agiant black stain on your very soul, somuchso that hours of meditation considering the benefits ofhari kiri should be performed! Obviously, this isn't happening, since from the comfort of my air conditioned barcolounger, I read some newspaper quotes from guys who busted ass all spring, summer and fall that indicate this loss was more deeply felt by myself than the team! And to think I spent all that time and effort shopping for Texas tshirts while they were running around in full pads and hundred degree temperatures! It just makes me sick.



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Postby Drew Corleone on Wed Sep 17, 2003 12:59 pm

I don't know what annoys me more... the bitching posts, or any post by horns78.
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Postby Makaveli on Wed Sep 17, 2003 2:53 pm

Holy Christ !!!!


I hope the black thing catches on. Maybe the stands completely full of black would make Mack realize that we aren't f$%^ing around about the staff and these schemes, and that he's about to completely lose us.
Wheeler



Imagine 83,000 black shirts at the next home game--what a sight! Wonder if the media might contrast photos of a blackened DKR Memorial with the Kyle red, white and blue?
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Postby Tom Landry on Wed Sep 17, 2003 11:59 pm

Yup. Black shirts. There's a winner.
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Postby ThoughtPolice on Sun Sep 21, 2003 7:15 am

You folks are brutal. \:D/
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Postby beam,coke,&horns on Tue Sep 23, 2003 10:43 am

you know you guys are my dawgs, but wouldn't it be alot cooler if you called these people out on the site itself instead of running over here to make fun?
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Postby HornMafia on Tue Sep 23, 2003 7:15 pm

I think for the most part we do. That is why you see the posts from Staff talking about banning people, no matter who they are and how long they have been posting. :lol:
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Postby horns78 on Tue Sep 23, 2003 7:54 pm

Too bad they don't ban that horns78 mother fucker. :lol:
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Postby eochs on Tue Sep 23, 2003 8:05 pm

I don't give a shit that you are only posting now to try to get banned, I'm doing it anyway...

You have been banned...
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Postby Mr. Peabody on Tue Sep 23, 2003 8:06 pm

=D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D>
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Postby eochs on Tue Sep 23, 2003 8:07 pm

thank you, thank you...
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Postby eochs on Tue Sep 23, 2003 8:10 pm

go read his HAHAHA thread on TT...
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Postby WhiteTrashHorn on Wed Sep 24, 2003 7:10 am

Read THIS hahaha, bitches. I have a plethura of e-mails and computers to post from. I can keep this up forever, and it isn't because I want to be part of this pathetic little sight, it is because I enjoy annoying you ass-munchers


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Postby Mr. Peabody on Wed Sep 24, 2003 7:15 am

I give you an A+ for effort.

=D> =D> =D>
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Postby PrideMtnSooner on Wed Sep 24, 2003 7:41 am

You are the king of annoying.
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Postby howieman on Wed Sep 24, 2003 8:11 am

whores78 and her husband, i am glad you find the time to annoy us...maybe you should pick up a hobby such a chainsaw juggling
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Postby HornMafia on Tue Oct 14, 2003 7:01 pm

By HarleyHorn:

LoL brettryan ...... good point ........ it is my fault we lost to ou .... "I am clueless"
actually, I only send 3 or 4 emails during the football season ....... I have sent 2 this year ........ on September 3rd, I suggested to Davis & Mack that we insert Vince on the 3rd series of each game (and other guidelines on how to alternate the QBs since I felt they were clueless due to their history over the last few years of QB play)....... I made this public on 9/4 on another board .........

..... then after the Arkansas game, I explained to them that if they would have used my QB game plan vs. Arkansas we would have never lost ........ Mack & Co. then used my QB plan for the next 4 games in a row ....

Hook'em Harder & Smarter
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Postby 12ozLongneck on Tue Oct 14, 2003 7:13 pm

You have GOT to be shitting me.
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Postby OKC Longhorn on Tue Oct 14, 2003 7:18 pm

Hook'em Harder & Smarter

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Postby HornMafia on Tue Oct 14, 2003 9:06 pm

=D> TSD upping his entertainment factor...

Do you think its a done deal Bob? I'm still iffy on that matter. I keep hearing the fans can't get complacent again.
Have you heard otherwise?

I'm not going to be around anyone that would definately know until the Nebraska game. Hell I'll invite you and a few others to the luxery box if you want.
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Postby 12ozLongneck on Wed Oct 15, 2003 7:07 pm

It's strange to see him posting about anything besides how Rick Barnes is the worst thing to ever happen to Texas basketball.
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Postby PrideMtnSooner on Wed Oct 15, 2003 7:15 pm

You should just cut and paste the entire site for the last week into this thread.
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Postby Simon Honeybone on Thu Oct 16, 2003 11:48 am

I forgot how bad Rick Barnes was for Texas Basketball
I fart in the B_S & Big XII's general direction
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Postby Mr. Peabody on Sat Oct 18, 2003 9:43 pm

Gotta save this one. It is a classic.

First, let's get one thing straight...I'm not writing this for you...I'm writing it for me.
OK, so nobody here gives a shit, but I am no longer a fan of the college football team known as the Texas Longhorns. Yeah, I went to school there for 5 years, but that was over 20 years ago.

You see, I decided right after the arkansas game that I will no longer follow a team with no heart, no soul, no guts and no BALLS.

So there I was, in Knoxville TN, a couple hundred miles from home, at a sports bar at noon, in between my daughters' soccer tournament games. We’re eating there because the poster Horn in Knoxville told me about the place. Yeah, the food’s not really what my daughters need to eat, but damn, they got Texas on the TV!

Texas goes up 7-0 early, but we have a couple soccer games to get to. Texas has the ball, we're up 7-0 at home to those pig fuckers whose coached dissed us on national TV after they beat the shit out of us, and I'm feeling pretty good about the game. I consider telling my wife I'll catch up with them...you know...just to make sure we go up 14-0 at home. I had the same feeling I had when we were up 7-0 on Colorado and with the ball in the B12 championship game. I just didn’t recognize it in Knoxville.

Thank God, I didn’t. I decided to “take one for the family” and go on to the soccer games. What the hell, we’re up 7-0 at home, we’ve got the ball, we’re gonna beat the ever livin’ shit outta those slop eaters for what they did to us in Dallas.

My daughters ROCK! The older one’s team kicks ass, she gets a couple goals and a couple assists, and tomorrow, they’re going to beat the crap out of another team and play for the championship. My younger daughter is playing up a year, guesting on a team that had some injuries. This is her first year playing select soccer, but DAMN, she kicks ass playing with and against girls a year older. She gets a goal and an assist and is passing the soccer ball like Tiny Archibald passed the basketball in her first two tournament games ever.

Great day…great fucking day. The weather was perfect, my kids kicked ass on “the pitch”, the mountains are beautiful, my wife is beautiful, dinner was great, I’ve got a good buzz going from the wine, all I need is the Texas score to see how badly we punished those GD f-ing pigs and there no-class coach.

Are you fucking kidding me? 38-28? After what they did to us the last time we played, we let them beat the shit out of us IN OUR OWN FUCKING HOUSE???

Remember that girlfriend you had who, while a great lay, was a pain in the ass much of the time because she was so dumb and even though she gave head like she was chosen from thousands to do so just for you, she often did or said something to embarrass you? Remember her? Even though she made you feel like king of the fucking world in the bedroom, you couldn’t stand to be around her in public. So what did you do?

Well that’s what I did. I can no longer stand to be embarrassed and humiliated by the lack of heart, soul, guts and balls of a college football team. So I dumped ‘em.

Don’t get me wrong…this is no knee-jerk reaction to a loss. This goes waaaaay, waaaaaay back.

My freshman year was 1977. Out of nowhere, we run the table and are destined to beat the dog fuck out of those overrated prima donas from south bent. Earl Campbell, Alfred Jackson, Johnnie Johnson, Brad Shearer, Johnny Lam Jones…my God, no wonder we never lost a game that year. I almost died on the way up to the Cotton Bowl. We hit black ice on an overpass and did a 1080 (3 X 360). But we survived. Texas didn’t. We lose 30 something to 10. WTF…it was Fred’s first year.

Next time we get a shot…1983. What a fucking defense. Unfortunately, Nebraska has what many consider the best team of all time and those damn “triplets” (Rozier, Fryar, Frazier). That’s too bad. It’s also too bad Fred decides to protect a 6-point lead and for some reason, Craig Curry (my favorite player at that time) is on to field a punt. In a very Cub-esque way, we blow the game (That was obvious fucking holding on Lastinger’s TD run!). In a drunken stupor, I watch Miami beat the greatest team of all time and take what should have been ours…and I will always believe everything Miami was after that game could have been us.

Then…the dark years. As I lived in different parts of the country, Florida, Michigan, Tennessee, and tried to catch Texas in some sports bar, it was usually just me, and all the Texas haters. Hooters in Jacksonville, some dive in Birmingham Michigan, Hooters in Tampa, Bleachers in Franklin, TN…always me…watching us get our asses handed to us, usually by a team with a following at that watering hole. And always by a team which really had no business being on the same field with us. Or so a Texas fan would think.

But I traveled to see the Horns play too. Three other Exes and I were there in Charlottesville, VA the night we were down 22-0 in the first quarter, sitting in the VA student section. I heard “Texas SUCKS” so much, and there was no arguing, so we eventually turned around and shouted “Texas SUCKS” right back at them. The only consolation was stealing some VA fan’s Jack Daniel’s from under the seat and going off and drinking it. And wouldn’t you know, that wasn’t even a total victory…it was the green label.

I sat in The Box Seat in Nashville with 22 other Texas Exes to watch rout 66. I co-founded the f-ing chapter, but it was hard to take all the laughs and pointing from the SEC fans. We didn’t give a shit…we stayed ‘till the end and sang “The Eyes…”. Fuck ‘em.

I was at the Rose Bowl, down 24-3 in the first half. If there’s one thing Cali people like, it’s f-ing with people from Texas. I was walking down the street and a damn hung-over street bum looks up, sees my “TEXAS” sweatshirt and says “Texas?…get a rope”.

But hey, we’re building…we beat Nebraska and broke their home winning streak…there was a big article in USA Today, “Texas Fulfilling Promise Ahead of Schedule”…everything’s gonna be alright, right?

At a conference in Miami, some French mother fucker, who says he was a walk-on kicker under Switzer, tells me ou is going to win the national championship. In the middle of a bar in South Beach, I fall down to the floor laughing. They blew a 17 point lead and lost to us by 10 and this dumbass thinks they’re going to win the MNC?

63-14. WTF? I can’t believe it. Well the good news is, at least it can’t get any worse.

WRONG! They win the MNC. And as everybody knows, we still haven’t won anything but a ½ conference title.

So we let Arkansas come into our house and teach us the meaning of the word, “respect”. I throw my burnt orange shirt with the large uteristic horn logo on the front into the bushes at the hotel in Knoxville. I tell my wife “I’ll wash and dry the girls’uniforms” and while they’re spinning, I shoot down to the corner store for a couple six pack of Mickey’s Big Mouths. I drink both while watching navy blue and whit soccer jerseys tumbling in the dryer. I scrape the “Horn’s” logo off the rear window of the Suburban with my car keys.

So I’m done with 'em. Enough’s enough. My oldest daughter’s team wins the tournament. The younger daughter’s team doesn’t, but giving up only 2 goals and scoring 13 ain’t bad.

Now I’ve decided I’m just a casual fan. I watch the ksu game on a hand-held TV during another soccer tournament. Damn if we almost didn’t give it away to them. But don’t worry poopsie, embarrassment is just around the corner.

65-13. Thank God in Heaven I didn’t bother to watch. My kids played soccer that day…I watched them, they won…I’m proud. Fuck “casual fan”…I hope those underachievers lose every fucking game ‘till I die.

Honestly, I don’t know what the hell I was thinking. Texas had one coach, during one 6-year period, with a gimmick offense, and no scholarship limits, and few blacks playing in college…that’s all they’ve had. An inch or two difference in the pass in the improbable “game of the century” and we’ve got one more MNC than BYU, Clemson and aggy. A real program has had success with different regimes at different times. We haven’t done jack-fucking-shit since 1970 and we didn’t do anything before ‘64. Texas is NOT one of the top college football programs of all time. We’re somewhere in between Minnesota/Maryland & Tennessee, which at least won MNCs with more than one coach.

I’m sorry if I’ve offended anyone with this diatribe, that was not my intention. And I don’t mean to talk anyone out of being a fan of the Texas Longhorn football team. Hey, you want to be embarrassed and humiliated, that’s your business. But I’ve had it. And this is how I’m making it official. I’ve waited a while for the emotions to cool, but I’m finished with the emotional torture. I’ve got two kids who play their hearts out on the soccer field and win…they’ve never embarrassed me and even if they did, they’re my kids, I would never be embarrassed by them, even if they or their team played as poorly or exhibited the lack of character, guts, heart and soul as has the Texas football team.

But I’m 44 years old, I live in Brentwood Tennessee in a $965,000 home, I drive a Mercedes convertible, I got the gold Rolex, my business is rocking, my wife is gorgeous, AND I DON’T NEED SOME TEENAGERS, TWENTY-SOMETHINGS AND/OR COACHES WHO DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THEM TAKING THE FUN OUT OF WHAT’S LEFT OF MY LIFE.

If I lived in Austin…or even Texas…it might be different. But being here…life’s too short to waste any time, energy and/or emotion on people who don’t care about it as much as I do.

So with that, after 26 years of following them, I bid a not-so-fond adieu to the University of Texas Longhorn football team. I never even got the great head. Good bye, and good riddance.
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