Gordo's Valentine Day Cards

For people who are not cool enough to be HornMafia, so they try to act like him instead.

Gordo's Valentine Day Cards

Postby txlonghorn47 on Tue Feb 14, 2012 9:11 am

So great.

I just want to say those special three little words....grab your ankles.
"I like cussing, getting drunk, and fooling around with women" Danny Balis
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Gordo's Valentine Day Cards

Postby HornMafia on Tue Feb 14, 2012 9:19 am

http://gordonkeith.wordpress.com/2012/02/14/5557/

Dear Feb 14th lover,
Our first Valentines, all I wanted was your hand in marriage. Now, I just want your hand in my cargo shorts.
gordon

To my heart-stealing Valentine,
You know what says I love you more than a card? My handprints on your ass.
gordon

Dear 14th of February maiden,
Love is a four-letter word, but it’s not the four-letter word I am going to do to you tonight.
Wear lose clothing,
Gordon

Dear new love,
I’m about to say those three words that every girl wants to hear. “Grab your ankles.”
gordon

Dear Person who captured my fancy,
You know how I know when to stop loving you? When the cops show up and put up the yellow tape.
gordon

Hey sugar lips,
I used to think only a lifetime with you could make me happy. Now, I’ll just take a steak and some mouth love.
gordon

Dear kinky lover,
Let’s do something new this Valentines day. Like your college roommate.
Seriously. Text her now.
gordon

Dear Cupid Arrow victim,
You know what my favorite part of you is? Whichever one goes down the Dispose-all the easiest.
Love,
gordon

Hey girlfriend,
Some things will never get old, and you’re one of them. Prepare to die.
Gordon

Hey sweetie,
I would say you are the lover I’ve always dreamed of, but you don’t have a penis.
Gordon

Dear Sweet Sweet sweetheart girl,
They say a relationship must always reinvent. That’s why I’m going backdoor tonight.
just relax,
gordon

Hey Valentine Cupid love,
Last night I saw something on your face that said you loved me. Oh yeah, it was my genitals.
gordon

Dear Person so dear,
Valentines day only comes once a year, unlike me when I look at your picture.
Gordon
“I am God’s vessel. But my greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live.” -- Kanye West
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Gordo's Valentine Day Cards

Postby LMQueen on Tue Feb 14, 2012 12:41 pm

So funny. And creepy!
Having the opposite viewpoint from you ensures my moral supremecy.

-UTWiz
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Re: Gordo's Valentine Day Cards

Postby txlonghorn47 on Thu Feb 14, 2013 9:08 am

Dearest Valentine enjoy these chocolates. They aren't the only thing you'll be putting in your mouth tonight. Bring your toothbrush I haven't trimmed up.
"I like cussing, getting drunk, and fooling around with women" Danny Balis
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Re: Gordo's Valentine Day Cards

Postby tamut98 on Thu Feb 14, 2013 11:14 am

Dang it Matt...

Those jokes and asthmatic bronchitis are a bad combination.
WuhPOW!
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