12ozLongneck's Thread of Laws, Theorems and Postulates

For people who are not cool enough to be HornMafia, so they try to act like him instead.

12ozLongneck's Thread of Laws, Theorems and Postulates

Postby 12ozLongneck on Tue Nov 17, 2009 8:47 pm

12ozLongneck's First Law of LMFZ Threads: As the number of posts in a thread approaches infinity, the probability of the thread containing a pointless argument approaches 100%.

12ozLongneck's Theory of Automobile Decoration: As the number of license plates, bumper stickers and other accoutrements on an automobile proclaiming the driver of said automobile to be "sexy" or "hot" or "a diva" or "a hot sexy diva bitch" approaches infinity, the likelihood that the driver of said automobile is anything other than a fat skank approaches 0%.
Your existence is not impossible, but it’s also not very likely.
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Re: 12ozLongneck's Thread of Laws, Theorems and Postulates

Postby LMQueen on Wed Nov 18, 2009 6:46 pm

:lol:

I [heart] Kevin. Can't wait to see you back at the tailgate!
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Re: 12ozLongneck's Thread of Laws, Theorems and Postulates

Postby 12ozLongneck on Tue Jun 07, 2011 7:18 am

12ozLongneck's Theory of Temperature Grievance: The amount of time someone spends complaining about the weather is inversely proportional to the amount of time they spend outside in said weather.

Also, my Theory of Automobile Decoration seems to apply to cubicles as well. There's some broad here that has a sign on her cube proclaiming that "THE PRINCESS IS IN." She probably tips the scales at about 250.
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Re: 12ozLongneck's Thread of Laws, Theorems and Postulates

Postby MBK271 on Tue Jun 07, 2011 8:51 am

:lol: :lol: :lol:

This thread should see more activity.
why don't you run back to the sandbox where the rest of the kids are playing so the adults can have a discussion...it's over there....you see Howie, he's over there with PMS knocking over other kids sandcastles...looks like fun.
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12ozLongneck's Thread of Laws, Theorems and Postulates

Postby LMQueen on Tue Jun 07, 2011 11:16 am

:)

Yes, I have an office job, but I walk mid-morning, run errands at lunch and suffer through traffic at 5:00, so I will continue to complain about 60+ days of 100 temps. :)
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Re: 12ozLongneck's Thread of Laws, Theorems and Postulates

Postby 12ozLongneck on Tue May 22, 2012 6:54 pm

12ozLongneck wrote:12ozLongneck's Theory of Automobile Decoration: As the number of license plates, bumper stickers and other accoutrements on an automobile proclaiming the driver of said automobile to be "sexy" or "hot" or "a diva" or "a hot sexy diva bitch" approaches infinity, the likelihood that the driver of said automobile is anything other than a fat skank approaches 0%.


Something sort of along these lines:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/2 ... 35498.html
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Re: 12ozLongneck's Thread of Laws, Theorems and Postulates

Postby BarryBnds on Wed May 23, 2012 8:10 am

There has to be a law about guys wearing Affliction shirts or Crocs or jorts.
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Re: 12ozLongneck's Thread of Laws, Theorems and Postulates

Postby 12ozLongneck on Fri Jun 08, 2012 12:31 pm

12ozLongneck's Theorem of Olfactory Awkwardness: The probability of the attractive 20-something from my contractor's billing department bringing a payment voucher to my office for review/signature is inversely proportional to the amount of time that has passed since I last cut a fart that could peel the paint off the walls.
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Re: 12ozLongneck's Thread of Laws, Theorems and Postulates

Postby 'Hornbybirth on Tue Jun 12, 2012 8:28 am

Greatness!
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Re: 12ozLongneck's Thread of Laws, Theorems and Postulates

Postby 12ozLongneck on Mon Nov 11, 2013 4:06 pm

12ozLongneck's Theory of Facebook Slacktivism: As the number of charity/activism related items that a person shares on Facebook approaches infinity the likelihood that their involvement with any of those charities/causes goes beyond getting a smug sense of satisfaction from hitting the like/share button approaches zero.

I've had about a billion "OMG give money to the Philippines!!!" things roll through my newsfeed today and I'd bet good money that the cumulative donation made by the people who have shared all that crap is less than $100.
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Re: 12ozLongneck's Thread of Laws, Theorems and Postulates

Postby 12ozLongneck on Mon Oct 20, 2014 1:37 pm

12ozLongneck's Theory of Organizational Management : As the amount of extra layers of management and/or programs put into place by management to address a perceived problem in an organization approaches infinity, the likelihood that management and management initiatives are the source of the perceived problem which they purportedly exist to solve also approaches infinity.
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Re: 12ozLongneck's Thread of Laws, Theorems and Postulates

Postby Makaveli on Mon Oct 20, 2014 6:38 pm

That's so true. With governments even moreso than companies
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Re: 12ozLongneck's Thread of Laws, Theorems and Postulates

Postby 12ozLongneck on Mon Feb 29, 2016 10:17 am

12ozLongneck wrote:
12ozLongneck's Theory of Automobile Decoration: As the number of license plates, bumper stickers and other accoutrements on an automobile proclaiming the driver of said automobile to be "sexy" or "hot" or "a diva" or "a hot sexy diva bitch" approaches infinity, the likelihood that the driver of said automobile is anything other than a fat skank approaches 0%.


There's a group of broads that come in and do the thing at Austin Pets Alive where you check a dog out and take it running on the trail. They all have matching headbands that say "Beautiful BADASS" on them and when I saw them yesterday a few of them were wearing shirts that said "I'm so glam I sweat glitter" There are 4 or 5 of them and the lightest one probably weighs in at 250. You don't sweat glitter. You sweat ranch dressing. Fuck off.
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Re: 12ozLongneck's Thread of Laws, Theorems and Postulates

Postby LMQueen on Mon Feb 29, 2016 12:47 pm

Haha.


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