This week's sign of the Apocalypse.....

A hit-or-miss hodgepode of hyperbolicism...

Postby Bucharest on Thu May 04, 2006 12:49 pm

I would've just told you, but it's much more shocking when you see this in both stats....

1. Pujols
2. Bonds
3. Ausmus

:lol:

See, I can't even write it without laughing!!!!
" How come it took three seconds to euthanize Eight Belles, but the WNBA is starting Year 12?" - Bill Simmons
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Postby Bucharest on Thu May 04, 2006 4:08 pm

Ya'll are still fucking talking about Barajas???

#-o
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Postby SmoothLonghorn on Thu May 04, 2006 4:12 pm

:evil: What the hell is all this nonsense? Son of a *****.......Smooth
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Postby Bucharest on Thu May 04, 2006 4:13 pm

They've ruined your thread Ben, sorry.....I thought the initial post, i.e. MINE, was pretty good.....I feel guilty.
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Postby Silverado on Thu May 04, 2006 4:57 pm

Spending two pages on Rod Barajas IS a sign of the Apocalypse.
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Postby Bucharest on Thu May 04, 2006 5:22 pm

Silverado wrote:Spending two pages on Rod Barajas IS a sign of the Apocalypse.


:lol:

Well played!!!

Can ya'll start another thread......seriously, just copy and paste this last post into another thread.
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Postby mouthpiece on Thu May 11, 2006 1:18 pm

Offered without comment:

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Postby SmoothLonghorn on Thu May 11, 2006 1:29 pm

1. I find it funny that the rest of the messages were removed (was new thread started?)--I didn't really care--it was funny;
2. mouthpiece--I saw that as I opened up my browser (Yahoo is my homepage). I immediately thought, "your kidding me, right?" Good call.....Smooth
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Postby mouthpiece on Thu May 11, 2006 3:50 pm

Speaking of Yahoo!, what did they just do? I know they have been experimenting with their home page for a few weeks, but just today it looks like you have to set up an account to start accessing any of their stories.
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Postby Music City Mafia on Wed Oct 18, 2006 9:07 am

This is as good a sign as any. Thank God I went to elementary school in the early 70's, when PC/sheltering was still only in its infancy...

Massachusetts School Bans Tag Amid Fears of Injuries, Lawsuits
Wednesday, October 18, 2006

ATTLEBORO, Mass. — Tag, you're out!

Officials at an elementary school south of Boston have banned kids from playing tag, touch football and any other unsupervised chase game during recess for fear they'll get hurt and hold the school liable.

Recess is "a time when accidents can happen," said Willett Elementary School Principal Gaylene Heppe, who approved the ban.

While there is no districtwide ban on contact sports during recess, local rules have been cropping up. Several school administrators around Attleboro, a city of about 45,000 residents, took aim at dodgeball a few years ago, saying it was exclusionary and dangerous.

Elementary schools in Cheyenne, Wyo., and Spokane, Wash., also recently banned tag during recess. A suburban Charleston, S.C., school outlawed all unsupervised contact sports.

"I think that it's unfortunate that kids' lives are micromanaged and there are social skills they'll never develop on their own," said Debbie Laferriere, who has two children at Willett, about 40 miles south of Boston. "Playing tag is just part of being a kid."

Another Willett parent, Celeste D'Elia, said her son feels safer because of the rule. "I've witnessed enough near collisions," she said.
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Postby UTwiz on Wed Oct 18, 2006 9:13 am

Alright. I'm done. F the world.
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Postby Music City Mafia on Wed Oct 18, 2006 1:15 pm

Nevermind. The Apocolypse has been averted for the time being. All is back to normal in the world... yo.

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Postby SmoothLonghorn on Thu Oct 26, 2006 9:05 pm

MCM, those are *interesting*, but this is more what I had in mind. Really, I'm out on humanity, there is no hope for us....Smooth

Man Has Sex With Dead Dog In Front Of Day Care

The Bay City Times
Area man charged with bestiality
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
A 44-year-old Saginaw man remains jailed today on charges of bestiality after he was seen engaged in sexual acts with a dead dog, Michigan State Police troopers said.

Ronald Kuch was arrested after police searched the area of Midland and Carter roads Friday for a man who ran away from a Bay County Animal Control officer. The entire incident was within view of a nearby day care center.

At his arraignment on Monday, Kuch demanded a preliminary examination in Bay County District Court. District Judge Craig Alston ordered him to remain jailed in lieu of $500,000 bond pending a hearing on the evidence Nov. 6.

Kuch is charged with crimes against nature and assaulting a law enforcement officer.

Troopers said a woman from the day care center called for animal control because there was a dead dog near the property that had been hit by a car several days earlier.

Before officers could arrive, the man showed up and began engaging in sexual acts with the dog, police said. The animal control officer also reported seeing Kuch involved in the sex act and as he approached him, Kuch shoved him away and ran off.

State troopers searched the area and found the man hiding in the attic of a nearby house.

Officers determined that the house belonged to the man's girlfriend and later learned that the dog, a black Labrador retriever, also belonged to the girlfriend. The dog had been dead for four or five days.

The official charge of crimes against nature carries a maximum penalty of 15 years in prison. If the person is a repeat offender, the maximum is life in prison.
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Postby e unit on Fri Oct 27, 2006 3:24 pm

very disturbing!
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Postby HornMafia on Sat Nov 18, 2006 2:08 pm

“I am God’s vessel. But my greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live.” -- Kanye West
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Postby SmoothLonghorn on Sat Nov 18, 2006 6:12 pm

That's what I'm talking ' bout, Matt! I thought I saw that somewhere else, but I thought the headline was a joke/not literal. As is, that definitely is TWSOTA!....Smooth
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Postby HornMafia on Thu Jan 11, 2007 9:43 pm

“I am God’s vessel. But my greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live.” -- Kanye West
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Postby 12ozLongneck on Mon Mar 05, 2007 11:28 pm

Off-Duty NWA Worker Charged With "Assault" On Flight

Northwest: The preferred airline of Miggs.
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Postby U2-Horn on Tue Mar 27, 2007 11:00 pm

Pennsylvania: Proposal Mandates Ignition Interlocks for All Cars

http://www.thenewspaper.com/news/16/1672.asp

Legislation before the Pennsylvania House of Representatives would mandate DUI interlocks on all cars.

A bill introduced last week in the Pennsylvania House of Representatives would mandate that every car sold in the state be equipped with a breath testing device. State Representative Paul I. Clymer (R-Bucks County) insists that every motorist must prove that he is not drunk before starting a vehicle.

Clymer's proposal would require that, by 2009, all new cars sold in Pennsylvania have a device installed to estimate the amount of alcohol on the breath of a driver. If the machine believes the driver's BAC is greater than .025 percent -- significantly less than the legal limit of .08 percent -- the car will not start. By 2010, all motorists would be forced to install the devices on existing cars before being able to sell them as used vehicles.

Several states have mandated ignition interlocks for those convicted of drunk driving, creating a booming business for manufacturers of the devices. Court-ordered interlocks generally cost up to $200 to install with $125 in monthly maintenance fees. Permanent installation of such devices would add more than $1000 to the cost of new vehicles. The Sens-O-Lock brand, for example, lists for $1595.


:shock:
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Postby HornMafia on Wed Mar 28, 2007 7:04 am

Ridiculous.
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Postby dahorns on Wed Mar 28, 2007 7:27 am

a boost for mass transit, I guess.

IMHO, big brother pretty much sux
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Postby SmoothLonghorn on Fri May 25, 2007 11:16 am

Josh Hancock’s (Cardinal’s Pitcher) family suing restaurant, tow truck company, and driver of broken-down car

Hancock's blood alcohol level was .157, he was driving 68 in a 55, reportedly was on his cell phone, and it appears that he did not even hit his brakes before hitting the tow truck (which had its hazards on). Oh yeah, and he had been in a small accident (not his fault) a few days earlier in an area known for bars and strip clubs.

As everyone is saying, the family's grief is terrible, but well, there is a reason that I put it in this thread....Smooth
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Postby LMQueen on Fri May 25, 2007 12:36 pm

Ridiculous.
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Postby ChuckNorrisHorn on Fri May 25, 2007 4:03 pm

counter-suit!
It was basically like starring in a bukkake video with Charlie the Tuna.


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Postby 12ozLongneck on Mon Jun 04, 2007 7:11 pm

Jon Benet's dad and Natalie Holloway's mom are hooking up the privates:

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