This week's sign of the Apocalypse.....

A hit-or-miss hodgepode of hyperbolicism...

This week's sign of the Apocalypse.....

Postby SmoothLonghorn on Mon Nov 22, 2004 2:51 pm

I've been meaning to start a weekly thread along this vein for a while (and yes, to a certain degree I'm stealing the idea from Sports Illustrated--sue me!). Occasionally something catches my attention that I simply can't believe (and must, therefore, be a sign of society's impending doom :D ).

A few quick notes before we get too much further: 1. Feel free to add your own as the week goes along; 2. You'll notice that I'm putting this in a different forum than TWTB (HM, please contact my attorney with copyright violation claims :badgrin: ); and 3. Yes, it would be completely appropriate for the Pacers-Pistons melee to be this week's sign, but somehow something else is actually more shocking. Without further ado, I present the first installment of This Week's Sign of the Apocalypse:

5 Hunters dead after Wisconsin treestand dispute: http://espn.go.com/outdoors/hunting/new ... 28765.html

Now I'm no hunter, but I'm pretty sure that if you can't control yourself from shooting others while waiting for some deer, you probably shouldn't have a gun and/or be out hunting.....Smooth
I have no problem with people like Smooth who know what they believe and why they believe it - even if it is different than I.--UTwiz
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Postby Music City Mafia on Mon Nov 22, 2004 2:55 pm

Sounds more like a re-affirmation of Darwin's law of "survival of the fittest." The long-term evolution of our species is improved by this event.
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Re: This week's sign of the Apocalypse.....

Postby HornFanSweetie on Mon Nov 22, 2004 3:11 pm

SmoothLonghorn wrote:Now I'm no hunter, but I'm pretty sure that if you can't control yourself from shooting others while waiting for some deer, you probably shouldn't have a gun and/or be out hunting.....Smooth


Typical liberal response... :lol:
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Postby SmoothLonghorn on Mon Nov 22, 2004 3:22 pm

[-X
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Postby SmoothLonghorn on Wed Sep 28, 2005 2:57 pm

I have no problem with people like Smooth who know what they believe and why they believe it - even if it is different than I.--UTwiz
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Postby howieman on Wed Sep 28, 2005 3:17 pm

=D> #-o :badgrin:
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Postby lkandy on Wed Sep 28, 2005 3:38 pm

That sounds like something Howie man would do!

My "Woman burns down house trying to kill spiders" article (posted several weeks ago) would have worked very well here. :)
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Postby SmoothLonghorn on Wed Sep 28, 2005 5:46 pm

Makaveli wrote:I'm OUT on Republicans.


:shock: I wish I had seen this as soon as it was posted :D ...Smooth
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Postby SmoothLonghorn on Thu Dec 08, 2005 10:14 am

Mariah Carey gets 8 Grammy nominations

I don't know, maybe I need to listen to the whole album, maybe I'm being a hater, maybe...whatever. It is just hard to fathom how this is in any way appropriate.....Smooth
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Postby UTwiz on Thu Dec 08, 2005 10:36 am

How come my name was taken off of that greatness on your sig?
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Postby SmoothLonghorn on Wed Dec 28, 2005 10:42 am

49 Accused of Defrauding Hurricane Fund

They're reservation in Hell has now been confirmed with a Western Union transfer. Thank you.

And Wiz, I didn't want people to get the wrong impression of you all the time--you know, thinking that you're highly opinionated and argumentative all the time :D .....Smooth
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Postby UTwiz on Wed Dec 28, 2005 11:06 am

8)
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Postby SmoothLonghorn on Fri Jan 20, 2006 9:47 pm

Did I just see a Kraft cheese add with a musical theme of, "Your Crumbbelievable"(set to the tune of EMF's "Your Unbelievable")???
Is nothing sacred anymore???.....Smooth
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Postby Music City Mafia on Mon Jan 23, 2006 12:12 pm

I think someone posted a sign of the apocolypse on the "photo of the day" thread. Very disturbing...
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Postby AtlLonghorn on Fri Feb 03, 2006 11:10 am

A MOURNING daughter watched in horror as a woman desecrated her father’s grave — by urinating on it.

Grieving Lauren Tutty, her two kids and mum were put through the ordeal at the cemetery where her cancer victim dad Henry was buried a fortnight ago.

A row broke out as an unleashed dog being walked by the mystery woman and her partner ran riot across the grave.

The yapping mongrel then cocked its leg on a floral tribute reading “Granda” from Lauren’s kids Chloe, six, and Elliot, two.

Lauren, 26, said: “My mum said to the woman, ‘Your dog . . .’ But she shouted back, ‘Let my f***ing dog p*** where it wants.’

“I said, ‘That’s my Dad’s grave — he’s only been dead three weeks.’

“Then she said, ‘I’ll f***ing p*** all over your dad’s grave, will that make you happy?’

“And she walked up, pulled down her tracksuit bottoms and did it. She had two other dogs and they were all barking at us and snarling. The kids were terrified. It was like a bad dream.”

Lauren’s electrician partner Paul, 28, took the crying children back to their car by the cemetery at Bishopmonkwearmouth, Sunderland.

Pharmacy technician Lauren told her mum Jean, 57, to phone the police.

And she took a picture on her mobile as the tubby woman hitched up her trousers and strode away.

The soil on Henry’s grave has since been kicked about and flowers overturned. And Lauren suspects the same woman — aged 50-60 with frizzy black hair — was responsible.

Northumbria Police are hunting her on suspicion of outraging public decency.

A spokesman said: “It’s bizarre.”
We asked for your views - here's what you had to say

Has the fat ugly and crude cow who urinated on a grave no respect or common decency? She is obviously a very uneducated and crass being.

Tracey Atkins
What goes around comes around. I hope someone pisses on HER grave when the time comes.

And all the pee in China won't put out the fires in hell when she gets there!

Duane Mock
How disgraceful. I can't believe somebody would be so low as to let their dog urinate on a grave, let alone do it herself.

Jennifer Meadowcroft
That poor excuse for a woman should be so ashamed of herself. We can all hope that this vile, crass woman gets her comeuppance.

Joanne Powell
Reading this story and the seeing the foul sight of this disgusting woman is infuriating!

I think every dog in the country should be invited to urinate on her front doorstep.
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Postby Silverado on Fri Feb 03, 2006 11:18 am

Do the Brits need us to save them again and kick that lady's ass?
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Postby Music City Mafia on Fri Feb 03, 2006 11:25 am

And now for something completely different...

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Postby SmoothLonghorn on Wed Feb 15, 2006 10:28 am

This has to have been posted somewhere else on this site, but it needs to be in here, too. It's old, but Mencia did a skit about it that reminded me of it. Without further ado....

Seattle man dies after sex with horse
SEATTLE - A Seattle man died after engaging in anal sex with a horse at a farm suspected of being a gathering place for people seeking to have sex with livestock, police said Friday.

The horse involved in the incident was not harmed, and an autopsy of the unnamed man concluded that “the manner of death was accidental ... due to perforation of the colon,” a police spokesman said.

“The information that we have is that people would find this place via chat rooms on the Web,” said Sgt. John Urquhart of the King County Sheriff’s Department.

Although sex with animals is not illegal in Washington state, Urquhart said that investigators were looking into whether the farm, located in Enumclaw, 40 miles southeast of Seattle, allowed sex with smaller animals that resulted in animal cruelty, which is a crime.

“If you’re talking about sheep or goats, there could be some issues,” Urquhart said.

P.S. I'm sure I have caused extreme discomfort for many of you with this story, and for that, I apologize 8) ....Smooth
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Postby LMQueen on Wed Feb 15, 2006 11:59 am

:shock:

EWWWWW!

Gross!
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Postby Music City Mafia on Wed Feb 15, 2006 12:15 pm

“If you’re talking about sheep or goats, there could be some issues,” Urquhart said.


Making all other livestock non-issues and therefore fair game? #-o
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Postby SmoothLonghorn on Mon Mar 20, 2006 4:49 pm

In case you thought you were having a bad day.....

Man Severs Own Penis, Throws It At Police

Before cops threw the book at him, Jakub Fik threw something unusual at them -- his penis.

Fik, 33, cut off his own penis during a Northwest Side rampage Wednesday morning. When confronted by police, Fik hurled several knives and his severed organ at the officers, police said. Officers stunned him with a Taser and took him into custody.

"We took him out without any serious injury, with the exception of his own," said Chicago Police Sgt. Edward Dolan of the 16th District.

Doctors at Northwestern Memorial Hospital reattached Fik's penis Wednesday, sources said. He was listed in good condition Thursday, according to hospital spokesman Andrew Buchanan, who declined to comment further.

Smashing car windows

Fik, who lives in the 5400 block of W. Berenice, is charged with two counts of aggravated assault and one count of criminal damage to property, said Officer Laura Kubiak. He told paramedics he was distraught over problems with his girlfriend in Poland, Dolan said.

Police arrived on Fik's block at 8:20 a.m. Wednesday after receiving reports he was smashing car windows, Dolan said. Fik then broke into a house down the block. A group of six or seven officers assembled in front of the house, Dolan said.

The occupants were not home, he added.

Fik was bleeding when the officers arrived and may have already cut off his organ, Dolan said.

"At that point, this guy came running out, naked, with a handful of knives . . . and started throwing knives at the police officers that were 10, 20, 30 feet away," Dolan said.

Fik threw his penis during the confrontation, too, Dolan said. He then went back into the house and re-emerged with "another handful of knives," Dolan said.

Dolan sneaked to the side of the bungalow's front steps and stunned Fik with the Taser. Fik fought back when officers went to restrain him, Dolan said.

"About 10 feet from the front porch, right on the sidewalk, was his penis," Dolan said.

Dr. Greg Bales, associate professor of urology at the University of Chicago, said severed penises are uncommon but surgery usually works.

"As long as the penis is placed on ice and reattached within a few hours, the success is usually pretty good," Bales said.
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Postby Bucharest on Wed May 03, 2006 6:29 pm

Go check out the BA and OBP leaders in the National League................I'd laugh if I wasn't constantly reminding myself how hot it's gonna' be in hell.

:evil:
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Postby Drew Corleone on Thu May 04, 2006 7:08 am

The weird thing is that he's not just dribbling singles and flares into shallow RF... he's working the count and driving the ball.
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Postby ChuckNorrisHorn on Thu May 04, 2006 7:17 am

are we talking about hawpe? ausmus? vizquel? which one of these power hitters might you be referring to?
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Postby UTwiz on Thu May 04, 2006 10:28 am

Ausmus, I imagine. Which is completely opposite of what one of the better hitting catchers in the league is doing, Rod Barajas. Both are damn fine defensive players, but one is supposed to be doing one thing, and the other isn't. That's baseball for you.
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