Farting at a urinal?

A hit-or-miss hodgepode of hyperbolicism...

Re: Farting at a urinal?

Postby 12ozLongneck on Thu Jun 05, 2014 2:27 pm

Dude. How do you people talk on the phone when you poop? I don't think I have the mental capacity to be engaged in a phone conversation AND try to pinch one clean at the same time.
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Re: Farting at a urinal?

Postby Drew Corleone on Thu Jun 05, 2014 2:39 pm

I am ON my phone, but not talking on it.
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Re: Farting at a urinal?

Postby ChuckNorrisHorn on Thu Jun 05, 2014 4:02 pm

I like touching ppl on their shoulders at the urinal...maybe a slight massage...its only weird if they make it that way
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Re: Farting at a urinal?

Postby McKinneyHorn on Sat Jun 07, 2014 8:18 pm

Not acceptable to use the phone in the bathroom.

Guy was talking in the stall next to me the other day so having those Super Duty Commercial flush toilets that break the sound barrier, I began to flush at several intervals during his conversation. He would wait until the noise subsided, but I giggled and flushed again and again. Got bored so I left after several minutes...
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Re: Farting at a urinal?

Postby Drew Corleone on Thu Jun 19, 2014 12:54 pm

So I am pretty sure one of my employees shit himself today.

I'm taking a peaceful after-lunch dump, reading facebook on my phone, and I notice that the person in the stall next to me is facing forward, but not peeing. And his shorts are all the way on the floor. And he stands that way for a good five minutes. There's a flush at the end, but again, he never peed and he never sat down.

It was pretty horrifying because he's a big dude... probably close to 300 pounds.
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Re: Farting at a urinal?

Postby Drew Corleone on Mon Jun 23, 2014 2:53 pm

Taking my afternoon "break." Someone at the urinal just fired off a 6 second AK-47. That one would have made Samson proud.
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Re: Farting at a urinal?

Postby tamut98 on Wed Jun 25, 2014 10:30 am

Farts happen man...I would consider in front of the urinal a safe haven to let loose if you have to.

F sitting on a toilet at anywhere besides home or in a hotel. I feel for women having to plop it down on the toilet no matter what.
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Re: Farting at a urinal?

Postby U2-Horn on Wed Jun 25, 2014 10:39 am

they hover
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Re: Farting at a urinal?

Postby Drew Corleone on Wed Jun 25, 2014 10:44 am

Crapping at work gets a bad rap. That stall is a safe haven, away from incompetence and dumbassery... just 10-15 minutes of peace.
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Re: Farting at a urinal?

Postby LMQueen on Wed Jun 25, 2014 11:10 am

U2-Horn wrote:they hover


You are correct.

Skier position.
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Re: Farting at a urinal?

Postby Mr. Peabody on Wed Jun 25, 2014 6:09 pm

I fired off a really nice AK47 fart in a coworkers office today. Best thing was that it hovered like a cloud for awhile. I fired for close to 6 seconds before I ran out of ammo.
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Re: Farting at a urinal?

Postby eochs on Fri Jul 11, 2014 11:38 am

So just now I was sitting in a bathroom stall, playing some candy crush, and waiting for lunch to work its way out while I also avoid sitting at my desk. From the stall next to me I hear some LOUD grunting. The kind of grunting where you are pooping so hard you think you might burst an eyeball. Then about 15 seconds of silence. Then...


Click click click, three iPhone camera sounds coming from that stall. What the f did he take a picture of? I'm scared
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Re: Farting at a urinal?

Postby Makaveli on Fri Jul 11, 2014 3:45 pm

That is great !!!

I never take pictures of mine unless I'm at home. Weird, right ? I mean, what's the difference ?
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Re: Farting at a urinal?

Postby LMQueen on Fri Jul 11, 2014 8:40 pm

Someone (female) pooped in the hallway on the 2nd floor this week. (I office on the 6th) Apparently there was an "accident" and a trail was left to the women's restroom.
Eww. Seriously. So gross.
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Re: Farting at a urinal?

Postby Makaveli on Tue Jul 15, 2014 3:01 pm

I just had one that I thought was totally going to be picture worthy. To my dismay, it had broken into three (large) pieces. And they were floating

Such a disappointment
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Re: Farting at a urinal?

Postby dahorns on Wed Jul 16, 2014 2:43 pm

Drew Corleone wrote:Crapping at work gets a bad rap. That stall is a safe haven, away from incompetence and dumbassery... just 10-15 minutes of peace.


this man gets it....
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Re: Farting at a urinal?

Postby Music City Mafia on Thu Jul 17, 2014 9:48 am

Apparently, farting - whether at the urinal or anywhere else for the matter - is more than just okay.
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Re: Farting at a urinal?

Postby Drew Corleone on Wed Aug 06, 2014 10:03 am

Drew Corleone wrote:So I am pretty sure one of my employees shit himself today.

I'm taking a peaceful after-lunch dump, reading facebook on my phone, and I notice that the person in the stall next to me is facing forward, but not peeing. And his shorts are all the way on the floor. And he stands that way for a good five minutes. There's a flush at the end, but again, he never peed and he never sat down.

It was pretty horrifying because he's a big dude... probably close to 300 pounds.


Update on this... took a piss this morning (aside: love the bathroom at our new building... it's cleaner and doesn't smell like piss and shit) and as I was washing my hands after, I hear a voice say "ok, almost dry." I recognize the voice as the one from the quoted post and glance over toward the stalls. Sure enough there are shorts down around the ankles, feet faced inward.

I think this guy has a problem with shitting/pissing/jizzing himself.
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Re: Farting at a urinal?

Postby LMQueen on Wed Aug 06, 2014 1:54 pm

Somebody pooped in our elevator today.
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Re: Farting at a urinal?

Postby 12ozLongneck on Wed Aug 06, 2014 2:41 pm

Suuuuuuure. "Somebody." What is Matt feeding you, Robbi?
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Re: Farting at a urinal?

Postby LMQueen on Wed Aug 06, 2014 2:44 pm

Ha! Poor Jackson has had the great equalizer on and off for five days, but thankfully we have not!
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Re: Farting at a urinal?

Postby Makaveli on Thu Aug 14, 2014 1:18 pm

So I'm sitting in the public bathroom, LIVE, right now. Wondering if I am in men's or women's. Clues are limited, but feminine. No visible urinals thru door cracks...

DEVELOPING...
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Re: Farting at a urinal?

Postby LMQueen on Thu Aug 14, 2014 2:07 pm

Nice. :)
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Re: Farting at a urinal?

Postby U2-Horn on Thu Aug 14, 2014 3:08 pm

Did you fall in?
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Re: Farting at a urinal?

Postby Makaveli on Thu Aug 14, 2014 4:03 pm

It was the men's. False alarm
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